NSV Friday!

Happy Halloween everyone! We’re not huge Halloweeners so we’re staying in, and I’ll see if I can bug hubby into buying me Twixes and Almond Joys.

So, I thought I’d start the weekend off right by posting one of this week’s Non-Scale-Victories!

Firstly, let me tell you a story. This time last year, we got to dress up in costume for work. Which is a nice break from the dress-shirt-and-tie situation that everyone (ladies included) had to wear. So hubby and I went to Walmart to pick out a costume. And as anyone who has ever been shopping for Halloween outfits at Walmart knows, they’re pretty dreadful. We finally settled on a Robin Hood costume, which was clearly meant for guys, but works because I am from Nottingham and so was he. It was just the top/belt/foam bow and arrows, so I bought some green shorts, green tights, and some brown boots for cheap.

Bear in mind, I was quite pregnant at this point (not heavily so, just kinda sticking out a bit. I looked more fat than anything), and the zips to the cheap boots wouldn’t zip all the way up. I had to leave about an inch unzipped, and hoped no one would notice.

And they haven’t zipped up since. Each time I’ve tried them on, I’ve had to leave 1/2 an inch to an inch open. And forget about tucking anything in. I figured my calves were just super meaty and muscly, and I’d have to buy wide-calf varieties in the future.

Until last night! My hubby made me try them on, because he said I haven’t tried them on since I was about 206lbs. I feel like I tried them on more recently than that, but his weirdly specific memory made me doubt myself. So I tried them on and they zipped all the way up! So now I have an extra pair of boots that look awesome! (I have cute fluffy snow-boots, and recently bought some knee-highs on sale). It made me so happy! It’s nice to know that I actually have normal-sized calves, something I haven’t believed forever! And now I’m looking forward to them slimming down even more, now that I know it’s possible!


Last night, I had what hubby and I refer to as an ‘eat beast’ – meaning no matter the amount of food I put inside my body, I am not satisfied and still want to eat more. I usually get this a couple of days before my period is due. It is hard for me to get full when I have this affliction, and despite a hearty supper, I needed something more. So we made oatmeal cookies. And I ate 7 of them. With a glass of milk.

But I stepped on the scale this morning and I am down to 192.7lbs! Woo :)

So in the battle of Me vs. Eat Beast, it is Me: 1 and Eat Beast: 0. Now I am well on track to be in the 180’s by Christmas/New Year. Or even in 2 weeks! If I keep losing 1lb per week, I will be 184.7 by Christmas :D

I’m feeling good. I can’t necessarily ‘see’ the changes yet, hubby says my tummy/love handles have shrunk, but they will naturally shrink/tone up on their own during the post-partum period anyway. A couple more pairs of jeans fit me now – but I bought most of my jeans when I was in the 180’s, so still a few more pounds to go for better comfort (i.e. when I sit down). I think I was in denial about my weight gain, so may not ‘see’ a change until I am drastically lighter.

But emotionally, I feel like this is something I can do, and get done. I read through my blogs from last time I was losing this exact same weight – I was impatient about how slowly I was losing, and I gave up at the first sign of free food (Thanksgiving & Christmas). This time, my whole mindset is different. I never had mini-goals before – I just wanted to be 140-150lbs, as soon as possible. But this time I set myself achievable goals to stay on track. First, getting under 200lbs and getting out of the obese category, and then I decided on setting 10lb milestones. My 190lb milestone is coming up soon!

And I also have a plan for Thanksgiving and Christmas. Pretty much eat what I want on those days ONLY. I am not the type of person who can turn down deep-fried turkey, buttery mashed potatoes, and fresh baked pumpkin pie. And apple/pear wine. The calories definitely add up, but I just have to eat normally the rest of the week, and I should get away with it. My current weight loss goals ‘end’ at the New Year, and from there I will re-evaluate. Hopefully I will be in the low 180’s by then, and I can decide either to go into maintenance while trying for another baby, or lose a little more weight juust to tip myself into the 170’s.


So my latest weight is 194.2lbs! 

I am pretty excited, it means I have lost almost 16lbs so far, and 7.5lbs this month! I originally had a goal to lose 15lbs by Christmas, and have lost 11.3lbs since I made that goal. And with 9 weeks to go until Christmas, I guess I have two choices.

Either keep my deficit at 500 a day, but let myself eat extra at Halloween/Thanksgiving/Christmas, and stay on track for 4 more pounds lost by then, putting me at 190lbs. Or, I could really push myself to avoid the Halloween candy, exercise off the deep-fried turkey at Thanksgiving, and go easy on the Christmas cookies, and set my goal to lose 9 more pounds in 9 weeks! Then I could be 185lbs by then!

Part of me wants to take it easier, but the idea of being in the 180’s before the year is done is an exciting prospect. I want to be able to go to my pre-conception appointment with my high risk Dr. and weigh in almost 20lbs lighter than I was last time I got pregnant. I want ‘obese’ to be gone from my medical chart. i don’t want it to be a factor in my life or future.

Quick Post

I love losing weight! It really is the gift that keeps on giving :) you get the benefits of a healthier life AND a slimmer body! I love trusting the process, and being (almost) guaranteed to lose a little bit of weight, on time, roughly every few days. I love being able to eat pretty much whatever I want, as long as I stay mindful. I realise I may be one of the lucky ones – but I have had so much bad luck that I definitely feel like I deserve these victories.

We went to Wendy’s a couple of days ago, and I had the Son of a Bacon thing and a small fries – then we went for ice cream after! I prepared for it by having a very light lunch, and then drank plenty of water afterwards and went for a walk with hubby. I’m glad I didn’t have to ‘be good’ and eat a salad (which, at Wendy’s is 3-500 calories anyway, so you might as well have a burger!) and I’m glad I didn’t feel guilty about being a couple of hundred over. It didn’t destroy my progress, so all is good!

Today I weighed in at 196.7lbs – only 0.6lbs down from last week, but means I have lost 5lbs this month already! I could use this as an excuse to eat more for the rest of the month (I lost 5.1lbs last month, and I’d be perfectly happy with 5lbs a month), but I’m going to use it as fuel to maintain my deficit and hopefully lose another pound or two in the next 13 days!

Well, except today. I ate a good-sized breakfast (500+ calories) but threw it all up after taking my multi-vitamin :( so I have no idea how many calories I actually took in, and it could lead me to ‘going over’ because my stomach was emptied. But I’m not all that concerned, as long as I listen to my body.

I also have no idea why I barfed. I felt totally fine up until I took it. The iron in the multi-vitamins have made me nauseous before, but I have never thrown up from them (even when I took them on a completely empty stomach). Pregnancy is not possible as according to my charts I am not supposed to have even ovulated yet. I would blame it on the bad meat we ate last night, but hubby ate most of mine and he’s fine, plus the nausea was timed perfectly with taking the pill, and I felt fine again after puking.

But anyway, I’m chalking today up to a learning experience, and going to start taking my pill after dinner, just in case my stomach wasn’t full ‘enough’ today.



I recently posted about being back in ‘onederland’, and I’m happy to say that I this morning my BMI was below 30! 29.90 to be exact! And doesn’t my Mii look like the spitting image of me? Except my legs are not that skinny lol.

Anyway, I am officially overweight! Ahead of schedule! Yay! I have lost 4lbs so far this month, which is averaging 2lbs a week, even though my calories are set up to only lose 1lb a week. So it points to being water weight. Which means I can’t freak out if my weight jumps up again. I just hope it doesn’t jump up enough to wipe out all my victories!

That’s pretty much all my ‘mini’ goals accomplished now, which I am happy about. I started at 210, obese and miserable, and just wanted to get out of the 200’s and out of the obese category for good. Now, I feel like I’m in a much better place emotionally, more of my clothes fit, and I have picked up some healthy habits along the way.

My next goal is 180lbs, which is a mental goal more than anything. That’s the weight I started my journey at – and the weight I got back to after falling off the wagon. That feels like my stubborn weight. I got below it ONCE, I was 179.9lbs at my absolute lowest, but I never got lower than that. It will be a huge victory to blast through it, and keep going :)

Also, most of the clothes I own were bought when I was 180lbs, so I’m hoping by then I’ll be able to wear most items in my closet, unless they’re too big. To me, that’ll be another new beginning.

Dieting Vs. Lifestyle Change

Is there, realistically, a difference? I mean, I see plenty of people claiming they’re changing their whole lifestyle when they begin a weight loss plan – they usually say it when they’re starting out, full of enthusiasm and pep. Heck, I did it myself. I envisioned myself looking like a fitness model and wearing hot pants by 2014, back when I first started losing weight in 2012. I am sure once or twice I thought smugly, this isn’t a diet, this is a lifestyle change. Assuming that difference meant I would be successful.

Except, I went and changed my life right back to my old ways, and gained that 20lbs back, plus 10lbs more after my daughter died. So I couldn’t have changed my default lifestyle that much. I honestly think that you can only really call it a lifestyle change in hindsight. Not when you’re first starting out.

But I’m not on a diet either – I still eat chocolate, McDonald’s, cheap, delicious, fatty cuts of meat, and plenty of artificial sweeteners. I don’t like the phrase ‘on a diet’, as it implies a set of rules that I simply don’t follow. Is there a word for what I do? I count calories, ensuring a deficit most days, and I am making an effort to put more vegetables into my meals. I don’t eat as much ice cream as I used to, but only because ever since I had fillings put in, my back teeth are far too sensitive. I am making an effort to be more active throughout the day also, with gym time and active hobbies. But I haven’t done a full 180 or anything.

And there’s NO way to tell whether the small changes I’ve made will even stick, long term. I hope they do – with ALL my heart, I hope they do, for my health even more than my body size/shape. But I haven’t weathered these changes through things like stress, tragedy, sickness, moving, pregnancy, caring for young children, working, or anything else that crops up and causes people to ‘fall off the wagon’ long-term.

I suppose the only way to ensure I keep behaving in a certain way is to keep my goals and health a priority. No matter what happens. And I realise that’s easy to say during a calm period. But I’m saying it now to help me remember it when things aren’t so calm.

Weight Update & Hiking


I am officially back in Onederland! I weighed in this morning at 199.7lbs, and I am thrilled. I have no intentions of ever going back to the 200’s. I am a daily weigher, though, so I’m willing to bet that I’ll dip in and out of the 200’s a couple more times before I’m out completely. My daily weight is often all over the place, so I’ve learned to be fine with fluctuations, as long as the overall trend is downwards.

The past few weekends, hubby and I have been out hiking the trails to take advantage of the National Parks parking pass we got. I kinda love it – it’s hard going at times, but the view and feeling of success when you complete a difficult trail is well worth it. Yesterday we did a 4.3 mile trail, with a very steep downhill then a bunch of uphills, in about 1 hour and 50 minutes. Mentally, it is on par with running, so I’m glad I found something tough to do that doesn’t kill my shin! My legs and buns are burning today though!

Another bonus is, if you spend a day hiking miles and miles, you can pretty much eat whatever you want. Which is good for me this week – my appetite has been crazy! I don’t know whether it’s emotional or a time-of-the-month symptom, but I sure was glad yesterday to be able to eat half the carton of pudding, a pumpkin spice latte, my hubby’s amazing banana bread, and still fit in supper with calories to spare. The past couple of days, I have eaten at about maintenance because of my appetite, so I was happy to get my deficit back after a nice long hike.

My next mini-goal is for my BMI to be below 30. Right now I am at about 30.27, which is considered obese, but in a few more pounds I’ll simply be at the higher end of overweight! It doesn’t feel like a victory when I say it (yay I’m gonna be overweight!) but I’ve never been obese in my life until these past couple of years. I spent about a month at 200lbs around when I first got married, then again a year later I got back to the high 190’s after my miscarriage, and then I got pregnant at 198lbs, so I’ve been obese almost non-stop since about March 2013. It’s not a good place for me. So I am definitely looking forward to just being overweight.